Discussion about Heroes NBC


    The Little Lebowski

    Posts : 85
    Join date : 2013-04-01


    Post by The Little Lebowski on Mon 1 Jul 2013 - 21:50

    I thought I'd share one of the stories from my expanded universe. This is a short story and if you are familiar with creepypasta, this story was intended to be like an extended one - Heroes style. This was my first attempt at writing novel style so the formatting is a little off and descriptions are pretty basic, I've always done screenplays so it's what I'm used to. Any tips to improve it would be welcome.

    Chapter 1
    Craig was an ordinary man, living an ordinary life. Average height, average looks. He worked as a salesman for a high end company, as a result he travelled a lot. Nothing too interesting but at least he got to see new sights every so often. Let's just say neither Craig nor his life were anything noteworthy. That changed in April, 2006. Craig had just been on one of his business trips and was now returning home in New York. He loved the feeling of driving at night, and savoured the experience of cruising down the quiet free-way bordering the speed limit, listening to music and feeling the cool air blow past him. The only other car he could see was a single black car some way ahead. He didn't know what model it was, he didn't care. In fact he didn't care much about anything, when driving he was in a state of pure bliss. A state he was quickly taken out of by the sudden noise of a new engine, roaring ferociously like a monster. He looked in his wing mirror and saw a black SUV style truck speeding up behind him. It then overtook him and continued to soar down the free-way.

    He was always annoyed by people like this. What possible reason could there be for someone to feel they need to rush down a mostly empty road, especially at this time of night? And while he didn't know why, Craig started to feel the urge to find out. Before he could even know he was doing it, Craig was accelerating, trying to keep up. It didn't take him long to figure out what was going on. The SUV was going after the other car. He watched in horror as the truck repeatedly slammed into the back of the car, eventually causing it to crash head on into a barrier guarding an interchange. The SUV then disappeared into the shadows, its roar slowly fading away in the distance.

    They're strange things, car crashes. Horrifying to witness let alone be involved in. Nobody wants to see a car crash, but at the same time nobody wants to look away. Craig watched in horror as the car made impact with the barrier, heard the bone like crunch of the metal bending and breaking in such clear detail he felt it would haunt him forever. But strange enough it was not those details he paid attention to. Before his very eyes he saw a man - the driver - fly out of the car just before it went out of control. This wasn't him just being flung out of the car due to the force, he was literally flying. Suspended high in the air for a few moments before steadily gliding back down to earth.

    Was he going crazy? Were his eyes playing tricks on him? Maybe he just got mixed up in the sudden shocking events. People can't fly. That much is simple.

    Craig pulled up and stepped out of his car. The driver was already calling the emergency services. Craig recognised him, but didn't know where from. He wanted to help but didn't know how, an ambulance was already on the way, the assailant(s) were long gone. Craig stuck around before he realised he wasn't doing any good, the driver hadn't even so much as acknowledged him. Craig wrote his phone number on a scrap piece of paper in his car and gave it to the driver.

    "If you need an eye witness account you can call me on this number." Craig told him.

    The driver brushed him off with a simple "Sure." He didn't even glance at the paper. Of course he was already sure who was behind the attack.

    Craig got back in his car and continued home. This was the last time he would live an ordinary life.

    Last edited by Sylar on Mon 1 Jul 2013 - 22:01; edited 1 time in total
    The Little Lebowski

    Posts : 85
    Join date : 2013-04-01

    Re: Discovery

    Post by The Little Lebowski on Mon 1 Jul 2013 - 21:53

    Chapter 2
    Since seeing the flying man two months ago, Craig's life was never the same . He kept running the scene through his head over and over, most nights he couldn't even sleep. This started to affect his work life and he was ultimately let go, not that it bothered him. There was only one thing he cared about now.

    Night after night, day after day, he searched the internet and history books for some kind of explanation. Evidence. Most of the sites he found amounted to conspiracy theories with nothing to back them up, not very helpful but interesting enough. There was one book in particular he found interesting: 'Activating Evolution' by an Indian doctor, Chandra Suresh. It didn't prove that there are people with superpowers, but it was an in depth scientific explanation that says it was possible for them to exist. Good enough.

    Craig made his way to a local burger joint. Lately he'd been somewhat of a recluse thanks to his new obsession, and his best friend, naturally worried, had forced him to come out and spend time together. Craig entered the small diner, book in hand. The greasy smell hit him as soon as he opened the door, it filled the air. 2:10pm, five minutes early. Craig ordered a Coke and sat at one of the tables. Periodically a few people would come, order their food and take it out, nobody ate in. But despite the place being so quiet, the staff never seemed to stop working. Busy bees buzzing around the cramped kitchens. Got to keep working to protect the hive, Craig thought. Brian then came in. The two exchanged pleasantries before Brian went over to place their orders, his treat. He soon returned with a tray of food.

    “So, how are you?” Brian quickly asked as they began to sort through their meals.

    “Fine. You?” Craig replied as he unwrapped his double cheese burger from it's paper cover.

    “I'm good. I've not seen you in a while, starting to get worried.”

    “You shouldn't be.” Craig took a huge mouthful of his burger.

    “You found a new job yet?”

    “Not yet, no need.” Craig said, carefully trying to keep his chewed up food in his mouth. Semi-formed balls of ground up meat and bread.

    “How are you living? You need money for food and rent.” Brian sounded concerned, but Craig was too preoccupied with his food to notice, stuffing more burger and fries into his mouth.

    “I get by.”

    “You don't look like it, the way you're going at your meal.”

    “I said I'm fine.”

    “Obviously you're not. You can't have a lot of money, you hardly ever go out, I don't want to be rude but you look like a mess.” It was true, Craig had always been a tidy person, now he was unshaven, his hair ungroomed. He looked tired. “What's going on, man?”

    As they ate, Craig told Brian everything, the events on the free-way, his search for the truth, the book. He knew he might sound crazy but he wanted to tell somebody. People had to know about this. To his surprise, Brian didn't think he was crazy, at least he didn't say so. Craig was never one to let his imagination run wild, even as a child. If he was certain he saw it with his own eyes, he was happy to believe it.

    Craig was relieved, even a little excited to get it off his chest. “But that's not all,” he continued. “I've been digging, and one little thing that commonly shows up in stories is some sort of company. A men in black type of thing. But best of all, someone on line thinks they found out who was behind it,” Craig had read the message on a forum, the message was soon deleted but he was lucky enough to read it. “There's a paper company, Primatech. One of their factories in Texas.”

    “A paper company?” This is where Brian started getting doubts.

    “Yeah, I've been thinking about it, and it makes sense. A paper company is one of the most boring things around, nobody would suspect it. And I'm going to go there.”

    Brian looked serious. “Go there? You can't just go snooping around.”

    “If this is true, somebody has to reveal the truth.

    Not that they noticed it, but two men had walked into the building. Overhearing as they waited for their food.
    The Little Lebowski

    Posts : 85
    Join date : 2013-04-01

    Re: Discovery

    Post by The Little Lebowski on Mon 1 Jul 2013 - 21:55

    Chapter 3
    Brian stood in his apartment, packing a bag for his trip to Texas. Craig had arranged for the both of them to snoop around the Primatech building to “investigate”. He was almost sure they wouldn't find anything but he cared about Craig, and didn't want him doing this kind of thing alone.

    He didn't plan on getting too involved, but if anything happened he would be there to explain the situation. Not the whole truth obviously, that probably wouldn't help their case. He'd tell the authorities about Craig's change in mental health, sure Craig wouldn't like that, but Brian was certain he'd prefer it over prison or a fine.

    Beams of light passed through the window and illuminated the room as they moved across it before disappearing. A car horn beeped outside. That must be Craig.

    Brian fastened up his bag, picked it up and left the apartment.
    The Little Lebowski

    Posts : 85
    Join date : 2013-04-01

    Re: Discovery

    Post by The Little Lebowski on Mon 1 Jul 2013 - 21:57

    Chapter 4
    Craig and Brian had took just the one room in a motel to save money, two beds. They didn't bother with anything fancy, the cheapest they could find would do. After all they weren't expecting to spend much time in it, and when they were they would either be sleeping or busy planning their little mission. No point in spending money on luxuries you won't even notice, they agreed.

    And plan is what they did. They sat in the room for hours throwing ideas back and forth about what it is they will actually do. This is where their plans started to fall apart, Craig had took them all the way to Texas and all he could think of was to watch the building.

    “We'll learn nothing that way.” Brian told him. Craig tried to argue otherwise before concluding that it was probably true.

    The two sat for a while longer, sharing a six pack of beer, Craig then popped up with a new idea.

    “What if we get inside?” He said with excitement.

    “And how are we supposed to do that?”

    “I don't know, we find a way to get uniforms or something.”

    Crap, Brian thought. He'd come all this way and it was looking more and more likely that they weren't going to accomplish anything. If the look on Craig's face was anything to go by, he was also starting to have doubts. “I agree we need to get inside, but taking uniforms isn't going to work.” Brian told him.

    “What other options are there?”

    Brian grinned as he had a drink. “Well,” He stopped to wipe his mouth. “What if we pretend to be clients? We go there and say our company is looking for a supplier and we thought we'd go in to try and make a deal while we're in the area.”

    “That is brilliant.” Craig's faith was starting to be restored. His face lit up with joy. “When do you want to do it?”

    “Let's start tomorrow. No point in dragging it out.”

    Craig wasn't sure about that at first. He thought it'd be rushing things, and for something like this, he wanted to take his time. Make sure the plan is foolproof. But the latest plan worked as a great building block, and the two spoke for several hours, once again sharing their ideas. Sometimes they'd be stubborn and have an idea they didn't want to compromise, but they were eventually able to come to agreement and the plan was set. The next morning they were going to set off and search for answers at Primatech.

    They finished off their final drinks and climbed into their beds to sleep, they had an early morning in front of them.
    The Little Lebowski

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    Join date : 2013-04-01

    Re: Discovery

    Post by The Little Lebowski on Mon 1 Jul 2013 - 21:59

    Chapter 5
    That morning had been quite a rush. Brian had overslept and wouldn't be wake despite Craig's efforts. When he did finally manage to release him from his slumber they were already an hour and a half behind schedule. They quickly changed their clothes and took turns using the bathroom. Brush teeth, wash face, use the toilet. No time for anything more. Then they had trouble finding the car keys, but they were soon discovered on top of the television and they set off on their journey.

    It was still a few hours drive to Primatech. They soared down the long, quiet Texan roads, nothing much around them. Just the clear blue sky, breeze from the windows and good old American anthems pounding from the stereo. They both loved it, so much so that for a while they almost forgot about why they were there in the first place. Craig might even have liked it more than driving on the free-way at night. There was a unique sense of beauty and peace that they both struggled to recall experiencing anywhere else. Unfortunately for them, they were too preoccupied to notice that a black car had been on their tale since they left the motel.

    They'd been driving for a while now, and having missed out on breakfast were both getting hungry. They were approaching a small diner. The Burnt Toast Café. At first Craig was surprised, a diner in the middle of nowhere. Be he realised with truckers and such, it made sense.

    “Hey, let's stop here and get something to eat.” Craig said.

    Brian agreed without question and they pulled up outside the building. The car following them continued down the road.

    As they entered the building they were immediately greeted by an enthusiastic, cheery red head.

    “Hi, I'm Charlie. I'll be your waitress today.” She chirped. “Come with me, I'll get you both a table.” She continued. She then started walking through the diner, Craig and Brian following, and reached a free table. Brian and Craig sat down. “How are ya'll?” Charlie asked with a smile. They couldn't help but smile back.

    “We're good.” Brian answered.

    “Good to hear it. You don't sound like you're from around here.”

    “No. We're from New York.” Craig said.

    Charlie's smile grew bigger. “Ooh, fancy. What brings you to these parts?”

    “Business.” Craig answered, he wasn't sure why he was sticking to their fake story here but stuck with it.

    His answer didn't give much for Charlie to work with in terms of conversation, he didn't say what his business was, and she didn't want to ask in fear of being rude. “I'll go get a couple of menus, would you like some coffee while I'm at it?”

    “That would be lovely.” Brian replied.

    Charlie walked away across the diner. Craig looked around at the other people in the diner. Just as he suspected, truckers. He then looked at Brian.

    “This place isn't bad.” he said.

    “I know, she was so friendly.” Brian replied.

    Charlie then returned carrying a tray, on it was a fresh pot of coffee, two cups, a small jug of milk and sachets of milk, as well as two menus. She put it down on their table. She then picked up the coffee pot and filled their cups. “Do you want me to let you look at the menu and come back?”

    “That won't be needed,” Brian began, looking at the menu. “To start with I'll have the waffles, then I'll have steak and eggs.”

    Charlie was writing it down in her notepad.

    “And I'll just have pancakes.”

    “Coming up.” She then waltzed off to give the order to the chef.

    Craig continued to watch her, she was talking and laughing with a Japanese man behind the counter. The two seemed to be close. He was a little jealous, at his work people would talk to each other only as much as they had to. They wouldn't make friends. Unless they were more than friends.

    Craig and Brian talked until their food arrived. Not about anything important, not about their plan. Just talked. One particular subject was about who would win in a fight between an elephant, lion and alligator. Brian was sure the alligator would win.

    “It's basically a dinosaur.” He argued.

    Craig was having none of it, he backed the elephant due to size and thick skin. The only part of the elephant the others would be able to fit their mouths around were the trunk and tail, at which point they would receive a powerful kick. Brian disagreed.

    Charlie arrived with their food and placed it on the table. Brian's first plate had hardly even been put down when he started tucking it in.

    “Anything else?” She asked.

    “Yeah, who do you think would win in -” Brian started. He stopped when Craig kicked him in the leg under the table.

    “No thanks, we're fine.” Craig butted in.

    “If you need me I'll be over there.” Charlie left again.

    They both enjoyed their meals, savoured every mouthful and continued to force it in when they were full. In the end they must have had three cups of coffee each. When they were done they used to rest room, got the bill and tipped handsomely before complimenting the food and wishing Charlie a good day. After the meal the felt refreshed and powerful, like kings. They made their way back to the car, anthems blasting from the speakers, wind in their faces. They were ready for their mission.
    The Little Lebowski

    Posts : 85
    Join date : 2013-04-01

    Re: Discovery

    Post by The Little Lebowski on Mon 1 Jul 2013 - 22:02

    Chapter 6
    They were parked outside the Primatech building, Odessa. A long way from home. They'd been sat there for at least three quarters of an hour, too scared to do anything. They did have a short discussion about who would do what, but nothing came of it, for the most part they sat in silence looking at the building.

    Brian had offered to take up the more dangerous task of looking around the building while Craig distracted the workers by trying to arrange a meeting.

    “Are you ready then?” Brian asked, his voice dry and shaky due to nerves.

    “I guess.” Craig replied in a quiet voice, almost a whisper. “Are you sure you want to do it?”

    “Well we can't stay together, we won't find anything in an office.”

    There was no arguing with that, it was true even if Craig didn't want it to be. He didn't say anything but he was now having second thoughts about the plan. He wanted to know the truth but sitting there, in front of the building made it all seem more real, more dangerous than he'd imagined it would be. So many variables he hadn't even considered before. What if they did get caught, which he now believed is highly likely, would they call the police? Or if they are hiding something, would they take more drastic measures to protect their secrets? Naturally he didn't want to get into trouble, or murdered.

    He processed the thoughts in his head, trying to come to a decision. When he turned to tell Brian he didn't want to go through with it he saw that he had already left the car. Brian was now walking into the building.

    What was he doing? As if the odds weren't already against them, the risk of getting caught would have increased by going off plan without even letting him know.

    Craig jumped out of the car and chased after Brian who was now inside the building, out of sight. In his panic he'd left the car unlocked and the keys in the ignition.
    The Little Lebowski

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    Join date : 2013-04-01

    Re: Discovery

    Post by The Little Lebowski on Mon 1 Jul 2013 - 22:04

    Chapter 7
    Craig could feel his heart pounding inside his chest, he could hear it. Banging away like it was trying to escape the rib cage prison. He'd never felt like this before, it was like a dream. He wandered aimlessly around the ground floor of the building, surprised that nobody had so much as looked at him. Brian was nowhere to be found though.

    The building was a large warehouse full of high shelves, workers in uniform carrying stock back and forth. They looked pretty busy, maybe he'd got it wrong and this place really was just a paper company after all. Then he noticed a man in a suit, never had a person looked so out of place. His look, the way he walked, everything about him didn't fit with the surroundings. The man walked through some doors on the far side of the building.

    Craig decided to follow, making his way across the warehouse hoping nobody would stop him. When he got there he opened one of the many doors, this one led to a stairway going down. He prepared to make his descent into the unknown when who he assumed was a janitor grabbed him by the arm and stopped him.

    “You're not allowed down there.” He said.

    “I'm sorry, I didn't know.” Craig replied, trying to appear calm.

    The worker looked at him in suspicion. “What are you doing here?”

    Even though he'd gone over the plan in his head many times, Craig had trouble remembering his excuse. “I'm trying to find somebody to help me. I was in the area and thought I'd see if I could order some paper while I was passing.”

    “I don't think they do that here, you have to make a call first. If you ask someone in the offices near the entrance I'm sure they'll help you out.”

    Craig decided to push his chances, this man clearly had no part in the business side of things here, maybe he wouldn't even know any better. “I did, they sent me down here to find one of their salesmen.”

    “You won't find any down here. They're in the offices where you came from or out.” His eyes narrows on Craig, suspicion growing.

    Uh-oh. Hold it together, Craig, you can still save this. He thought to himself.

    “Strange, why would they send me down here? Unless they wanted me to speak to that man in the suit?”

    “What man?”

    “He walked through these doors not even a minute ago.”

    “Sir, I have no idea what you're talking about, there was nobody here. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.”


    “I will call security.”

    “That won't be needed. Sorry about the trouble.”

    Craig went back the way he came, planning to turn around again once the cleaner had moved on, but every time he looked back he was still there, watching patiently. Craig stood behind a wall near the entrance, peaking around to see the cleaner now leaving the area.

    It's now or never. Craig rushed back down to the far end of the building, hoping nobody would stop him this time, even if they tried, he wouldn't listen. He pushed the doors open and went through them, walking down the stairs skipping every other step.

    At the bottom of the stairs was a short corridor, a door on the other end. At first it looked like nothing out of the ordinary, plain sterile walls. What looked like a light bulb on the top corner of the end wall. Next to the door was a small metal box with a little screen and ten buttons, zero to nine. The lock, obviously they didn't want people getting in. Strange thing for a paper company. What were they hiding? Craig looked closely at the buttons, trying to see which looked more worn, hoping it would help him guess the combination. The five button was faded, that's one down. Sadly the others were in too similar a shape to tell.

    He started pressing random combinations, always including the five in there somewhere. He knew it would be a long shot but he needed to get through that door, and even if it took him forever, the right combination would eventually be pressed.

    He didn't get to find out, by the sixth try the screen on the box went blank, the light on the wall started to flash red. Through the door he could hear a voice coming from some kind of speaker system.

    “Intruder alert!” It repeated over an over in the same monotonous voice.

    Craig tried pressing keys again but nothing responded. He needed to get out of there. He ran back up the stairs and out of the building, never looking back and not caring if anyone noticed him. He needed to find Brian. He'd made it out of the building without issue, but he wasn't free. His car had gone, and Brian was nowhere to be seen. Craig took out his mobile phone and tried to call him, no answer.

    He couldn't just stand around outside, if anyone was looking for the intruder they'd easily find him, he ran away. Back the way they'd drove, it was a long walk with nothing much around. There would in fact be something before then, but all Craig could think about was going back to the diner, at least he could be sure of a friendly face there willing to help.
    The Little Lebowski

    Posts : 85
    Join date : 2013-04-01

    Re: Discovery

    Post by The Little Lebowski on Mon 1 Jul 2013 - 22:06

    Chapter 8
    Craig staggered down the side of the road, the blistering heat starting to take its toll on him. He was tired, aching and dripping with swear. Every part of his body felt heavy. He'd been walking for an hour, throughout which he'd tried to call Brian. Still no answer.

    He had left a message on the answer phone. “Hey, I don't know where you are. Thanks for taking the car and leaving me. I've started walking back, if you hear this before I get back, so in about three weeks, call me back. Or pick me up.”

    He wished he could hitch a ride but he hadn't seen a car all day, so quiet here. He stopped walking, his legs were going weak. When all hope seemed to be lost he saw a car. It pulled up next to him and the driver rolled down the window.

    “You look like you could need a ride.”

    Craig looked at the man, struggling to see his eyes through the reflection of his horn rimmed glasses.

    Craig had accepted the offer of a ride and the man had kindly agreed to drive him all the way to his motel, claiming it was on the way.

    “I hope you don't mind me asking, but how does someone happen to get stranded here?” The man asked.

    “My friend dumped me and now he won't answer his phone.”

    “Some friend.”

    “Tell me about it.”

    “Something happen between you two?”

    Craig struggled to answer, he didn't want to say too much. “Just a little spat.”

    The two spoke for a little longer, sharing jokes and stories, both of them telling lies while only one of them knew it. The only truths exchanged were their name. The driver, Noah Bennet, pulled up at a gas station.

    “Time to fill up.” Noah said as he got out the car.

    “I'll use the rest room since we're here. Give my face a rinse.”

    “You want anything while I'm paying for this? My treat.”

    “No, thank you. I'm fine.”

    “If you say so.”

    Craig made his way to the rest room. When he got in he wondered if the place had ever been cleaned. There was dirt everywhere it could be. He didn't care as long as the water was clean. Very few times had he felt more satisfied than when he splashed the cold water on his face, washing the dirt, sweat and heat away. So refreshing.

    When he returned, Noah was already sat in the car waiting for him. He opened the door and sat in the passenger seat.

    “Here, I got you this,” Noah handed him a large paper cup. “Ice tea, you've been out in the sun for God knows how long, this'll help you stay hydrated.”

    “Thanks.” Craig took a sip of his drink and smiled. “We not setting off?”

    Noah picked up a sandwich. “Just going to eat this first.”

    Craig sat looking out of the window in silence as Noah ate his food. He'd take mouthfuls of his drink every so often. The novelty of the sights hadn't worn off yet, the real America. As time went on, Craig felt more and more light headed, growing dizzy. At first he thought it was just the result of walking out in the heat for all that time, but the effects became more powerful. The beauty of his surroundings faded and now all Craig could see was a bald dark man walking towards the car. It was clear he was walking to them, his eyes constantly remained on Craig.

    That was the first time he saw him, but not the last.
    The Little Lebowski

    Posts : 85
    Join date : 2013-04-01

    Re: Discovery

    Post by The Little Lebowski on Mon 1 Jul 2013 - 22:06

    Chapter 9
    Craig sat in his apartment, he was supposed to be getting ready for a business trip, but he didn't feel up to it. Not in the condition he was in. For over a month he'd been trying to contact Brian without any success. Earlier that day he'd found out his friend was dead, his body had turned up in a river. It didn't make any sense, they didn't live near that river and Brian had no reason to visit, nor had he ever hinted at doing so. On top of that he had this constant strange feeling that had remained with him after waking up one morning. Small, every day things just seemed off or didn't add up. An odd sense of déjà vu. This was going to be a horrible April.

    He lay on his bed, unable to sleep he started examining his bedroom. It didn't feel right. The placement and look of all the furniture and objects, the walls, even the light from his window, it all seemed so unnatural. When he stared at the doorway he saw him.

    A bald dark man emerged from the shadows, eyes fixed on Craig. Didn't blink, didn't speak. Just stepped closer and closer to Craig.

    Craig should have been scared but he found the whole thing strangely familiar. That was impossible, this was the first time he'd ever seen the man... But not the last.

    The End
    The Little Lebowski

    Posts : 85
    Join date : 2013-04-01

    Re: Discovery

    Post by The Little Lebowski on Sun 22 Jan 2017 - 23:15

    I'm really not happy with this story, it doesn't flow. Do you have any ideas on how I can develop on expand it?

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    Re: Discovery

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