Inside the mystery of love - Chapter 2 - A Holiday Romance - part 1

Hey guys didn't want to keep anyone waiting long, it's not much just a little part of chapter 2. Hope you enjoy it. (It's a little shorter this time )

Chapter 2- A Holiday Romance - Part 1

“Hello?” Answered a low tired voice.
“Chris? It’s Bethany.”
“Hey, sis. Everything okay? How was the flight?” He asked sounding more alert.
“Yeah everything’s fine. Mum’s watching TV and I’m just about to go to bed.”
“Good girl, going to bed bright and early.” He laughed. “10:45. That’s a record for you.”
“Well don’t get to excited, it’s 11:45 here.” I retorted humouredly.
I heard him sigh heavily through the phone and a small smile broke over my lips.
“You know sis, you worry me when you don’t get enough sleep. You need to relax more, stop that brain of yours from working overtime.” He coloured his tone with obvious concern.
I rolled my eyes. Great, the big brother lecture. All I needed was an open ear. Advice.
“Chris, you know I wish that was possible but it just won’t turn off. It’s always louder at night, when I’m alone.” I whined through the phone.
It would have been a lot easier for me to have said okay and change the subject, but I couldn’t lie to Chris. He would have noticed there was something I wasn’t telling him. So instead, I confessed and awaited his answer to my never ending problem.
“Well that’s why you’re in Madrid. Just relax and ignore your thoughts for once. Enjoy your holiday.”
“Believe me, I’m going to try, I’ve got soo much on after these two weeks. As soon as get back to England it’s a week preparation, then a solid month worth of revision for my exams in May.” I blurted out, without a breath in between.
The plan was already devised in my head and I knew exactly what the future held. I liked to be in control of my life. Planning could never fail, not in my head anyway.
Chris paused before answering.
“Wow…you really do think ahead. Look Beth –” His voice suddenly broke off.
I kept silent and listened carefully, trying to make out any other voices. The line buzzed awkwardly in my ear, I tried to concentrate harder but nothing.
“Okay honey, I’ll be right there.” I heard Chris shout after a few seconds.
“Chris?” I murmured, all of a sudden feeling nervous for some unknown reason.
“Umm…Beth…I have to go.” He sounded breathless, his voice unstable.
“What? Why?” I asked.
There was a silence on the phone once again. He didn’t answer and I could feel his apprehension through the phone. There was only one reason for the way he was unexpectedly acting. Paris was waiting.
“Oh…okay never mind, I know.” I said, trying to stop my voice from showing my sudden disappointment.
I heard a rushed movement before he finally spoke.
“You do?” he asked, sounding a little too surprised. I could tell he noticed that I knew to much, from his rapid mood change.
“Yes. I’ll speak to you later.” I stated without much emotion.
“Are you sure? I could –”
“Goodbye Chris, I’ll call you later.” I interrupted, feeling the tiniest bit annoyed. I knew how much he wanted to go and now he was trying to prolong the conversation, to make me feel better. It was insulting.
“Thanks, you’re the best sis.” He eagerly spat out, before he hung up.
“Don’t I know it.” I muttered into the dead phone before putting it on the bed.
Staring into the strange, cold room, my mind fell on the reason for Chris’s hurried goodbye. Paris Reed.
I loved Chris with all my heart. He was supportive, caring and always knew the right things to say to make all my worries disappear. This was one of the reasons that I despised Paris.
Besides Paris being as fake as a dimondique ring, with her bleach blonde hair draped in extensions, her face caked in three inches worth of make up and her ridiculous diets, which changed daily and just seemed to get more and more outrageous. Besides all of this, the most disgraceful thing about her, the thing I detected right from the beginning was her innocent act.
Paris was more than capable of being manipulative and deceptive. Secretly plotting behind everyone’s back to fulfil her own selfish desires. This is where Chris comes in and this is where my hatred for her becomes almost impossible to withstand. Anything she can get her soiled hands on she tries to control and with Chris being as gentle and lovable as he is, he is drawn in, just like all the rest before him.
Hook line and sinker.
Each day I can tell she is reeling him in closer, away from his family, the real people that love him, away from me. As his younger sister, someone who has always admired him, it kills me that he can’t see what she is doing to him. One day he will see her true colours but until then I guess love really is blind. At twenty-two he has so much to look forward to, strive towards but with Paris holding him back, he’ll never make it.
Phasing out of my deep thoughts I noticed desperate tears rolling down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away with a trembling hand. I would make him see one day just what she was like and that would be the day he comes back. As long as I had that small glimmer of hope, the light at the end of the tunnel, I could go on.
Forcing my silent tears to stop, I heard my mother’s soft voice flow through the door.
“Bethany, are you still awake?”
I inhaled deeply and hauled my suitcase onto the bed. I opened the suitcase and dug through the folded clothes, dumping my night clothes on the pillow.
“Yes mum, come in.” I answered, surprised by how composed my voice became.
The door slowly creaked open and my mother’s slender face appeared. She smiled considerately and walked across the room towards the bed.
“I thought you’d be asleep by now.” She remained quiet, as if trying not to disturb the stillness in the room, as she sat on the corner of the bed.
I kept my eyes down and my voice low. Now the excitement had worn off, the exhaustion hit like a bullet in every part of my body. With my mind playing on Paris, I was more determined to sleep so my mind would turn off.
“Erm…I was just…unpacking. The view is distracting.”
I raised my head and glanced out into the night sky, the full moon an ominous glow in the distance. I watched as she looked to the sky. She smiled.
There was something about this place that my mother found very revitalising. Ever since we made that short journey to the hotel in the taxi, her eyes lit up a shade brighter. Her random smiles were real and not forced on her face like an old mask. I could only put it down to memories. Memories before my time, maybe, even before Chris. Old memories that she had perhaps forgotten. Memories she shared with Dad, no doubt.
She continued to stare into nothingness and once again she looked so content that I didn’t want to disturb her. I carefully placed the folded clothes back into the suitcase, zipped it back up and waited.
With the moon a small dot high in the dark sky, my mother finally blinked and looked away from the window, joining me back in the room.
“Oh look at the time, I didn’t realise it was so late. I’m sorry Beth.” She said as looked from the clock on the bedside table to me.
I pulled my eyebrows together in confusion, but was too tired to think of a reasonable response. She got up effortlessly, making no sound and walked over to the door.
“We’re up early tomorrow I’m afraid. I want to take you somewhere.” She announced, looking delighted, her face glowing in the soft light.
I simply smiled, too drained to find out the answer. She giggled delicately and closed the door behind her.
I yawned widely and stretched out across the bed, my head resting on the pillow.
I’ll rest my eyes for a while and then unpack. I told myself in my head.
I began to close my tired eyes; the last thing I saw was a shooting star, rocketing across the sky.

* * *

I awoke to the sound of a high pitch beep, ringing piercingly in my ears, making my head spin. I slammed the alarm clock with my hand to stop the infuriating sound. Reading the flashing red numbers I noticed it was already 8:00am.
I wasn’t the usual type to have a late lie in. Normally I was up and ready to go before the sun even had the time to settle in the sky. I didn’t actually have anything to get up for, nothing to be excited about. Every new day is just the cycle of the planets to me. The sun rises and the sun sets. That’s just the way it is. Set in stone. Fact. I make sure nothing is left to the uncertainties of life.
Surprises, hopes and dreams have no place in my life. If you don’t hope then you won’t get let down. If you don’t dream you won’t be miserable in your life when you never succeed. That’s the reason I get up and make myself busy. Plan my day and the days in advance, that way I won’t have time to dream. I won’t have time to hope. I won’t get the chance to get hurt.
I sighed heavily and threw the rose quilt off my body. I looked around the room in a daze. The dazzling sunlight bounced off the creamy beige walls and the colour seemed to change into a pale yellow where the sun hit. I scanned the floor but couldn’t find my suitcase. Once I swung my legs over the bed, I looked out through the wide window and was faced with the intense sun.
The sky was a thick deep blue like it had been freshly painted. The thin cotton clouds were far away in the distance, no chance of a threatening weather change. The sun a dazzling ball of fire burning brightly smiling down upon everyone. Even with this new outlook of weather, I hopped down from the bed and staggered towards the door on the right hand side.
I reached for the door handle and opened the door. Inside I noticed all my clothes from my suitcase were hanging idly on hangers. Mum must’ve unpacked last night, maybe when I had fallen asleep; I guess she was to excited to sleep. I went to pull out a t-shirt and jeans and remembered I was still in my clothes from last night. I decided I would take a shower first.
Leaving the wardrobe door open I walked to the bathroom, pulling my top over my head as I did. I let it fall on the floor outside the door and as I walked into the gleaming white bathroom I started to undo my jeans. I felt something in my pocket before I took the jeans off. Now inside the bathroom, I closed and locked the door while I pulled out a small thin card. I turned it over and my mind flashed back to last night.
Ashley. I was supposed to go to the bookstore today. After reliving everything that happened last night in my head, I sighed and put the card on the white tiled sink. I felt horribly ashamed and embarrassed by how I acted. It was completely out of character and it went against everything I believed in. Becoming hopeful or excited; that is the beginning of a long lonely road where the end is heartbreak. That was always something I could live without. Feeling slightly confused by how quickly I reacted last night I decided it was best to stay far away from that bookstore and avoid Ashley at all costs. I couldn’t lose myself here.
I stayed in the shower for as long as I could, trying to prolong seeing my mother. She usually slept in when she got the chance so I thought she would be still be sleeping when I got out of the shower. I knew she would try to drag me about Madrid, to visit all the places she went to with dad twenty years ago on their honeymoon. I couldn’t handle forcing a smile today. Even with the happy sun beaming down on me I was still unable to smile. Something I rarely did anyway. Just like mum.

It's really amazing, Carley!!!!

Great chapter

love it

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate your thoughts and comments.

XX

Another update peoples...hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 2 - Part 2

Eventually I knew I couldn’t hide in the shower for much longer, so I wrapped myself in a white cotton towel that was piled by the sink and made my way to the bedroom. Just as I was reaching for my clothes in the wardrobe, I could hear a high pitch humming from outside the bedroom door.
“Mum?” I called lowly as I opened the bedroom door.
As I walked into the main living area I noticed my mother, dressed in a long flowing white summer dress, down to her ankles. She had a headband in her hair, loosely holding strands of her hair back, with a soft white flower gracefully balancing on the side. She was smiling happily and dancing and humming as she twirled around the sofas holding a watering pot.
“Mum, what are you doing?” I asked, completed astounded by how carefree and content she was here.
“Good morning honey. Up a bit late aren’t we?” She said lightly, gently sprinkling the plant by the open balcony.
“Umm, yeah I guess so. What are you doing?” I repeated again more firmly than before. Gripping on to my towel as I walked closer to her, she finally looked up and turned to face me.
“I’m watering the plants, silly.” She smiled politely, finishing with a small giggle.
“Yeah I can see that, but mum they have maids for that.”
She paused before me and I watched her closely. Everything about her seemed different. Her eyes sparkled all the time making her eyes almost as blue as the sky. She always wore a smile, a genuine joyful smile. Ever since we arrived she had never stopped smiling. It was as if she had found her old aura and she was her old self again. Loving life to the full. I couldn’t help but skip ahead in my mind and wonder how she would change by the end of this trip. If she was content now, after only a few hours here then what would she be like after two full weeks?
“Oh, yes…of course they do.” She laughed. I smiled back at her and noticed a sudden burst of light in her eyes. A strike of pure excitement. I turned my back to her and hurried towards the bedroom door. “Beth?”
“Yes?” I answered slowly, my back facing her. I eyed the door in front of me and longed to be inside – hidden from whatever plan had just formed inside my mothers head.
“Do you remember I was telling you last night that I had something planned for us?”
“Umm…I think so.” I reluctantly replied, staring straight ahead at the door blocking my escape.
“Well that thing is now. Today. I want to show you where my whole life began.” Her voice was a pitch higher, which is what it always did when she became excited.
I turned to see her face beaming at me. A wide smile from ear to ear.
“When you say, when your whole life began, you mean your honeymoon here with dad?” I asked, avoiding eye contact with her. I would look into her eyes and see the exhilaration buzzing inside her and I would have no other choice but to surrender, despite my mood and go along, fake smiles and all.
“Bethany, after a woman’s wedding and their first child their honeymoon is the next best thing in life. It will still make the butterflies in your stomach go wild when you visit the sites once again. It’s just wonderful to relive it all. And to have the chance to relive it with my only daughter, I know it will just be magical.” She clapped her hands together and gazed into my eyes.
She held my gaze until she was sure my mind was changed. I had to go with her, as much as the fake emotion I had to portray today would exhaust me, it was worth it to make my mothers fantasy a reality. After all – it was just one day.
“Okay then. I just need to get dressed.” I smiled as best as I could. My body was screaming at me to lie down and relax, my mind was focused on acting normal.
“I’ll just get everything ready. Oh this is going to be super fun, I just know it!” She exclaimed eagerly.
I sighed as I changed into a pair of blue jeans, a light pink t-shirt and sensible black shoes.
“Bethany are you ready? We really need to go.” My mum called anxiously.
“Yes, I’m just coming.” I called back as I hastily brushed through my hair.

We spent the rest of the morning – into the early afternoon, going to the spots where my mum and dad went to on their honeymoon. She took me to parks, cafés, even on the river for a gentle boat ride. With each new place that we went to, there was a brand new story, memories of what was twenty years ago.
At first I was truly intrigued and surprisingly having quite a good time, however with each new place it just reminded me of how much my mother had changed. How she had lost her burning passion for life. It was upsetting.
The last place that she took me to was on King Burn Street. The very same street where my father had seen the coffee shop that inspired him to own his own one day. As we walked down the bustling street I felt the hot sun beating down on my skin. It was delightfully warm and I knew I would miss the heat when I went home, just as I would miss how happy my mother seemed to be here.
We got to the end of the main street with the many big named shops and busy people – mostly tourists – rushing around in groups. I was following close behind my mother, who was speeding up enthusiastically. She took the last corner leading on to King Burn Street. As soon as I stepped round the corner – everything changed. It was different from the lively street I was just on. I felt a complete feeling of relaxation wash over me as my mother lead me down the street with a complete row of home businesses.
As we continued to walk along the pavement I was anxiously searching for the coffee shop which started my fathers own business which; once it was passed on to Joshua, it would become a long running family business, well hopefully. Just then I was shocked out of my search as I bumped into my mother. She had stopped suddenly almost making me hit my face in her back.
“Thanks mum.” I commented mockingly, a bit annoyed at her for not telling me she was going to stop. She didn’t reply, she just stood in the middle of the pavement gazing at a shop across the road. “Mum?” I asked as I waved my hand in front of her face, I thought at first that the shop might have been knocked down but when I followed her gaze she was staring at a very charming bookshop called ‘Rob’s Books’.
“That shop wasn’t here before.” She murmured, almost as if she had been hypnotized.
While she spoke she stepped into the road and before my instincts kicked in to jump in the road and pull her back, I noticed that not one vehicle had driven through. It was quiet, even the people on the actual street were abnormally quiet, especially compared to the people on the busy street we just left.
We got to the door and walked in. When we entered we saw plenty of bookshelves all neatly placed in rows. The counter was at the end of the shop and diagonal from the counter was a neat little seating area with foam chairs and some tables.
There were a couple of people in the seating area, quietly talking and laughing. I knew what my mother had come in here for now. She wanted to look for another romance novel – she had just finished the one she was reading – my mum loved a good romance story. It didn’t matter if it was a happy or a sad ending, she would get wrapped into the book and she would always cry at the end.
She didn’t spend a second standing in the door way, she went straight to the romance novels – marked by a sign hanging from the ceiling in between a couple of bookshelves stacked highly – I followed her and saw her eagerly looking through books entitled: ‘The Summer Rose,’ ‘The Lonely Winter’s Dove,’ and ‘Lover’s Mountains.’
‘Urgh…these books are tasteless!’ I thought. ‘Cheap imitations of real romance novels. How can they even publish these! ‘I began to feel irritated watching my mother get excited over these books, so I decided to look around the shop and find something that was worth reading.
I had always loved to read and I got that from my mother but I definitely didn’t have her taste in books. I liked adventure, danger but the story had to be revolved around love. I loved to read books from authors such as J.K Rowling, Stephenie Meyer, Meg Cabot, and Marian Keyes…all talented authors beyond doubt. It was when I was searching for books from these authors that I saw him.

Saw who?

I love Meg Cabot, JK and Stephenie Meyer, too!!!

Very good chapter, Carley.

Great chapter And yeah, her mum has sucky tastes in literature

Well now Pippy, that would be telling lol

Yep, great authors...personal favourites of mine lol

Thanks for your posts and your time

Same. Loved the Mediator series and the 1800-Where-R-U books by Meg.

hahah. Guess it would...

xx

Yeah, I love Teen Idol by Meg

Awww, don't be too sad, it's makes me feel bad...

I'm fine.

Oh, yeah. Teen Idol is good. x

Hehe I know

Great!

Hey everyone...end of chapter 2 now here....it's quite long again lol Sorry..x

There was an open door, behind the counter that was being held open by a swivel chair. It lead to the back of the shop, where the stock was kept – well where the books were kept. He was moving a few boxes to a storage shelf. I laid my eyes on him once and didn’t want to look away.
He looked around five foot three an average height for a guy like him. He had light brown hair that was neatly cropped short but styled in messy spikes that pointed in every direction. He looked rather pale which I was thought was odd – for a guy who was constantly under the sun I thought he would have a bit more colour. However his skin was perfect, it suited his strong lined face. He turned his head to look into the shop and I dropped my eyes swiftly and flashed a bright red.
Even though all I wanted to do was glance back in his direction I couldn’t bring myself to try. My heart was being impulsive, skipping a beat or two when my mind filled with his image. I wanted to talk to him, at least meet him, which was something I never wanted to do.
A quick inclination made me turn my head back towards the boy. I watched him stack old and dusty books into the box and I could feel my heart through my chest. A wide but shy smile automatically filled my face, as I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks; no doubt I was flashing a vivid pink once again. I tried to look away as I did before but there was something to intense to draw me away this time.
He looked soo quiet and calm, focused on the books he was packing in the box. It was sweet. I don’t know I thought it was, I just knew it was. With the smile stuck on my face, I planned in my head, ways I could speak to him. Start a small conversation with him, anything would be fine. All I knew is I needed to get closer to him, it was a deep hidden desire that had suddenly decided to pounce. Whilst in deep thought about my plan to start up a conversation, I hadn’t noticed that my feet had carried me closer to the counter. Closer to him. My eyes had never left the boy as I walked further on.
With the counter almost in front of me now I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a rectangular mirror on the far wall. I deeply gazed at the young girl staring back at me. She was profoundly sad, weak. Her eyes lifeless no sparkle in them, her skin pale with no luminous colour in her cheeks lighting her face. Her brown hair thin and hay like. There was no ounce of beauty in this girl and the upward curves of her lips fell like a plane falling from the sky as I realised this hideous revolting girl in the mirror was me.
The realisation hit me. Of course I wanted to get closer to this boy; he was soo far beyond my reach that a single look from him would make my whole day. Who was I kidding? He wouldn’t give me the time of day, no one as stunning as him would even batter a eye in my direction. Who was I to blame him? It’s just the way things are. My life, as always, as good as it gets.
I shook my head and sighed as a light breathless laugh escaped my lips as I contemplated on even thinking I stood a chance with him. I turned my back on the counter and began to walk away before my mum popped up in front of me shaking two books in my face.
“Beth I need your help. I can’t decide which one of these I should get.” She pleaded at me, still holding both the books in my face.
I adjusted my eyes to the bright books in front of me, not really paying close attention. The left one was entitled, ‘At the End of the Road,’ and the right one, ‘Mistresses Web.’ There was no way I could decide on these books because I hated them both.
“Which one has the tragic ending?” I asked, almost mechanically.
I knew my mother always chose two books with a happy ending and one with a sad ending and she never could decide between them. I usually push her towards the happier one as I always thought she needed more happiness in her life but I decided I would chose the tragic ending for her as happy endings are never true – not in my case anyway.
She looked at both of the titles again and she put her left hand down, leaving the book ‘Mistresses Web,’ in my view.
“Get that one.” I said glumly. She turned it around and read the back once again, she nodded quickly and placed the other book on the shelve next to us. She walked over to the counter and I automatically followed, my head hanging down, my eyes firmly on the dark wooden floor. There was no queue and no one at the counter.
I looked up without lifting my head and found myself gazing into the back room where the boy had disappeared now. I was annoyed at myself for looking for him again even when I had already acknowledged I was nothing and he was far too good for me.
I was snapped out of my discouraging thoughts by the sweetest sound I had ever heard.
“Can I help you miss?” A soft luxurious voice filled my ears and my head snapped up towards the sound. I inhaled a sharp breath as that was all I could manage. There this boy stood behind the counter, beaming politely.
He was even more stunning now I could see his face and eyes. He had chocolaty brown eyes, which appeared to melt each time he blinked, his lips were amazing; a tinted pink colour and symmetrical in everyway. He was just so gorgeous and striking my heart sank as I knew for sure I had no chance with him. I would have looked down and saved myself the embarrassment but every time I tried I found myself staring back in eyes, I was completely mesmerised.
My mother handed him the book and I’m sure I noticed a quick subtle change in his expression. I was sure it was a look of distaste, maybe because of my mother’s poor choice of book or maybe it was just my imagination – that always went into overdrive – especially when I didn’t want it to. I still wasn’t sure if what I saw actually happened because once I looked up at his face again; it was completely composed – flawless.
He scanned the book and retrieved a charming little bag with ‘Rob’s Books’ written on the front. Placing the book in the bag and handing it to my mother, with another heart stopping smile, I felt suddenly strange.
I felt relieved that we would finally be able to leave and I could go outside and catch my breath, steady my heartbeat and let my face cool in the light breeze. Although with this relief came the exact opposite – I wanted to stay, I wanted to continue feeling these mad feelings, the erratic heartbeat, the burning blush in my cheeks, the impossible yearning just to stay and stare into his beautiful eyes – for the first time in my life, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and it was extremely unnerving but extraordinarily exhilarating.
“Umm, I couldn’t help but notice, this bookstore is rather new, isn’t it?” My mother’s curious voice shocked me out of my thoughts. What was she doing? Had she noticed my unusual sensual behavior? I watched her face and she seemed generally intent on finding out the answer. Perhaps it was something to do with her honeymoon. I repeated this over and over in my head – just to calm my paranoia – I had to be the only one who knew how messed up I was feeling.
“Relatively, I guess.” He responded again with his fluid voice, pulling my full attention on him, once more. “A few years.”
“Oh I see. I was here quite a long time ago and this shop wasn’t here then.” My mother smiled, leaving a huge opening for a response from the perfect boy, standing before us.
“As I said it’s only one or two years since it has been here.” He answered simply. I thought for a moment that he was like me, not a very social person, his own person in his own little world. He hadn’t fallen for my mother’s tactical conversation opener; usually leaving many other’s with a head full of questions, which she would happily answer, resulting in long conversations. Instead he kindly complemented her, leaving her to ask the questions.
“It can’t have been to long since you were last here, I’m sure.”
My mother giggled and blushed a dark rose colour – the same colour, I’m sure, was all over my face.
“That’s very kind of you to say…umm…” She stopped as her eyes scanned his thin black shirt, looking for a nametag.
He realised almost immediately and gave his name graciously. “Henry,” He smiled. “Henry Green.”
“Thank you, Henry.” My mother replied with a wide smile.
His name was perfect for his face. It was unbelievable. He was too good to be true. I was deeply captured in my thoughts and my feelings that I hadn’t noticed my mother introduce herself to Henry…or me for that matter. I looked up and to my surprise I met Henry’s eyes.
“I’m Tiffany Ray and this is my daughter Bethany.” She had introduced us in a slightly higher tone that only I would have noticed; this meant she was excited about something.
I gazed helplessly at him like a rabbit trapped in a cars headlights, utterly frozen. There was a long silence as Henry stared back – his eyes melting before me – he was oblivious to the fact that inside, I was silently hyperventilating. Even though I was struggling for air with his eyes meeting mine, I felt suddenly warm, a strange comfort that I had never felt before, rushed through me.
I continued to – wordlessly – stare at Henry and the more I did, an involuntary smile appeared on my lips. He beamed back with a short breathless laugh. I flushed a shade brighter and forced my eyes away, looking down at the counter. With our intense stare – that felt like it lasted hours – finally broken, Henry’s voice filled the thick silence.
“So where do you live? I mean I’m sure I would have remembered you if you’d visited before.” His smooth voiced caressed my ears and again I inhaled a thin breath of air.
I looked up and realised his question was aimed at me, his eyes never leaving mine, as he waited for my answer. I tried – with hardly any luck – to clear a path through the substantial fog in my mind to find a response that wouldn’t make me sound as dim as I was feeling.
I wasn’t sure how long I stood in silence but my mother decided it best to intervene. Now I was defiantly acting irrational. I couldn’t even drag a few words out of my mouth to make an attempt at answering. This uncontrollable, unruly behavior that had unexpectedly hit me was starting to irritate me. I had to get back in control, there was no other option. I would not let this fresh thrilling feeling take over me anymore.
“Actually it’s just another passing visit for us, I’m afraid. Just two weeks lapping up the sun. In fact it’s Bethany’s first trip here.” My mother answered calmly, pulling Henry’s expecting eyes away from mine.
“Oh, that’s disappointing…still I hope you’re enjoying your time here.” He answered with a low voice but it went up by the end of his sentence.
My mother simply nodded with another polite smile and I saw her, from the corner of my eye, raise her eyebrows and slightly tilt her head towards Henry. It only took this once sly glance to make me understand what she was suddenly excited about.
This isn’t happening. No way mum. I groaned in my head, hoping the message would show through my eyes. She pretended not to notice my disapproval and smiled as she looked back to Henry.
“What to you think of Madrid so far Bethany?” Henry asked cheerfully turning his attention back to me.
I opened my mouth immediately but to my dissatisfaction my answer was mute. I saw his beautiful strong eyes sparklingly as he awaited my – over due – response. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, in the most inconspicuous way I could manage, and gave myself a stern pep talk.
This is it! No more irrational behavior! Henry is a very charming young man and even if he seems perfect, he will never be yours. Get a grip!
After focusing my thoughts slightly I opened my eyes, hoping he hadn’t noticed and took a gasp of air to answer.
“Honestly I haven’t been here long. It’s my first day of sight seeing; I think it would be somewhat hasty to make a conclusion just yet.” I finally answered my voice higher and softer than usual. I sighed silently to myself; relieved that I managed a sentence without cracking and revealing my inner – muddled – self to him.
I continued to watch Henry’s eyes as he never moved them from mine. His face seemed expectant, as if he was awaiting the rest of my answer. His magnificent gaze, made my chest feel tight and I could barely breathe.
“But so far, from what I’ve seen, Madrid is great.”
His face smoothed out faintly as the expectant look faded. He smiled a very small smile, and as much as I loved to see him smile, I wished he hadn’t. I felt lightheaded, a piercing pain shot through my head and my chest. I hide the burst of pain from my mother and Henry, by gently gripping the desk, with my fingertips. I looked up above the counter and noticed a poster on the wall behind Henry. It marked the opening and closing times of the shop and underneath this, was the stores number.
I could just make out my mothers muffled voice, but I couldn’t make out her exact words. Henry responded politely as he finally looked away from my face, already a weight felt lifted off my chest, but still the thin air remained.
I slowly reached into my jean pocket, steadying myself firmly with my remaining hand. I had no other choice, I knew I could stay and talk to Henry forever; he made me feel…I wasn’t quite sure how to find the words but I definitely knew…he made me feel. After all these years, he was only one who ever made me feel I had no control over my emotions, something I was – generally – very good at controlling. It was because of this, that I had to get out. I was already too involved, letting my emotions get the better of me; I had to leave the only person who had ever made me feel alive. I was frighten I would loose myself if I let this continue further.
Discretely, I dialed the number into my mobile as Henry and my mother merrily talked away. I dared not look at Henry one last time before the phone rang in the back room, behind the counter. I knew if I did, I would indefinitely stay and I couldn’t take that risk.
“I have to get that, sorry.” Henry jumped to attention and hurriedly made his way to the phone.
My mother gave a heavy sigh, a smile on her face as she turned away from the counter. She linked her arm through mine as I ended the call, before Henry could answer it. We calmly walked away from the counter, towards the door. Towards normally reality again. She pushed the door open and fighting against all the screaming voices in my head I turned back to see Henry back at the counter.
He was staring after us and as he met my gaze again, he grinned warmly. I smiled back, the weight heavier in my chest. As we walked out on to the calm street, the thick air cooled my temperature, filling my lungs, allowing me to finally breathe, I could think clearly again. With my mind free to wander I noticed that there was something different about Henry’s eyes but I couldn’t make sense of it. They seemed…sadden and I just couldn’t figure out why.

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Chaper 3 - Heartbreak - Part 1

It had been six, very long, tedious days since my trip to Rob’s Books. My mother had spent most of the week, catching up on old memories. Visiting more places she went on her honeymoon, twenty years ago, finding the couples she had met all that time ago. Regaining the feeling of happiness, I expect.
For these six days, we hadn’t really spoken. A quick exchange of how our days had been, what we were having for dinner and what was on TV was the extent of our conversations. This wasn’t my mothers fault; I had become reserved and withdrawn the past week. I didn’t do this on purpose; it was jus my way of coping with the things that throw me off course in life. The things that shock me, I avoid at all costs and keep to myself, that way I’m safe. Safe in my own world, my own protective bubble. Of course, I noticed my mother grow increasingly worried about my silence.
As much as I tried, whatever I tried, I couldn’t stop my mind from drifting onto Henry. Ever since I had met him he had been on mind, sometimes I knew but sometimes he was tucked away, subconsciously but still always there. A permanent place in my mind. It was strangely comforting to me, to remember him, all the feelings I felt when I was there I could still feel when I thought of him.
I had recurring arguments with myself in my head. Occasionally I would give in and listen to the side of me that felt happy for once, not frighten at all, and I would plan to go back to the store, just to see him one more time. However before I could let these overwhelming thoughts take over I saw sense and went against it.
Stick to what you’re used to. To what you’re good at. You’re not the spontaneous type.
I would hear these thoughts, combat everything else I was thinking and feeling. They were always right, play things safe, just as I always have.
Instead I stayed in our hotel room and tried to drown out my thoughts anyway I could. I uninterestedly scanned through the channels on the wide screen, the picture on the screen never registering in my mind. It was more the sound of the TV I wanted to concentrate on, trying distract my mind from resting on Henry.
My mother was up after me and had spent the morning getting ready, for what, I didn’t know. She came out of the bathroom and sat down next to me on the sofa. I didn’t acknowledge her arrival; I sustained vacantly flicking through the channels. There was a long pause, the TV the only distraction, from the piercing silence. My mother spoke, making me jump slightly.
“Beth, I’m going to the beach today. I think it would be really fun if you joined me, what do you say?” Her voice was soft and full of hope.
I waited before answering, hesitating on a news channel before I flipped the channel again and answered indifferently, never looking away from the screen.
“No thanks mum. I think I’ll just stay here today.”
She gave a heavy sigh and slapped her hands on her knees. I rolled my eyes and set the remote on my lap, settling for a typical morning TV show.
“Bethany, you’ve been stuck in this hotel room for days. You can’t spend the rest of your holiday trapped in here.” She snapped sternly. I turned to look at her, my expression never changing.
“Mum, I don’t mind staying here. I like it.” I lied. I hated staying here on my own, my thoughts screaming out at me to go and see Henry again. The same four walls closing in on me, trapping me inside to keep me from making a big mistake.
“Okay let me rephrase that. You’re not spending the rest of you’re holiday locked up in here. I want you to go out for me; the fresh air will do you some good. I need you to go to that bookstore where that nice boy works…”
“Henry.” I interrupted. He was no longer the mysterious beautiful stranger. He was Henry Green and I loved to say his name out loud, it felt nice, it made my heart skip.
She rolled her eyes in frustration and continued her rant.
“Fine, where Henry works.” My lips twitched into a smile that I tried to contain, as she said his name. “I need that other book that I wanted before. That way I know you’ve gone out and you’re with someone nice. Maybe it will help me stop worrying about you soo much, you’ve been scaring me the last couple of days Beth, really you have.”
Her voice was harsh and loud but by the end she finished in a soft warm voice. I must have been worse than I thought, I felt guilty for making her see me act like that so I had to oblige and make it up to her somehow.
“Okay fine. What was the book called?” I reluctantly agreed as I turned the TV off and stood up.
Her eyes lit up and a juvenile grin spread across her lips, as she gave me a small piece of paper with the book title jotted on it. I smiled sarcastically as I rolled my eyes and walked over to the door, my heart pounding a little. I placed my hand on the door handle but turned back as my mother called.
“Bethany, I’m sure we’ll both have fun today.” She giggled as she waved goodbye. I flashed my usual rose red and shut the door behind me. My legs carrying me to the one place my mind had forbidden me to go.
As I walked through the busy streets my mind filled with Henry once again. He had dominated my mind – my most controlled private place – and he had no idea of the affect he had on me. An affect I would never understand. I wondered if Henry would understand if I ever had the chance to discuss it with him but that thought was quickly extinguished, by the fact that he would never be interested. Henry would much prefer to be friends with a girl who was beautiful, smart, funny, interesting and he had all right to want this, he deserved better than me, realising this was what hurt me the most as I timidly walked down King Burn Street towards the inviting bookshop.
My heart leaped in my chest and a lump formed in my throat as I looked up at the large white sign above the door, with the large black sophisticated letters spelling ‘Rob’s Books.’ There was hardly anyone inside; although it was a Saturday maybe they had all gone down to the beach like my mum, I thought anxiously.
I nervously breathed in a staggered breath and opened the blue door. As I walked in I felt a strong refreshing breeze which took me away from the scorching heat outside and the pleasant ring of the bell on the door, which rang every time the door opened or closed, echoed in my ears calming my breathing down a little.
As soon as I was inside I scanned the room for Henry. He wasn’t the purpose for my trip, initially but now I was here, I whished he was. I walked down the main isle, leading to the counter where Henry stood last time. A delicious memory in my head that replayed over and over. He wasn’t there. I couldn’t see him in the back room either. As my hope dropped I decided it was better that I didn’t see him here. This way I could get the book, without having to drag myself away from him again, I wasn’t sure I would be capable of that if we spoke again.
I changed direction and ducked behind the bookshelves, following the signs hanging from the ceiling. I walked through the science fiction section and noticed a small, scrawny boy who had to keep pushing his thick glasses up his nose as he bent down to closely search the books. I smirked slightly as I passed the young boy, who had animatedly turned his nose up at me. Finding the romance section, I walked further up the isle and stopped just before the end.
From here I could see the soft seating area and the counter, without being in sight of either of them. This I was grateful for. There were two girls, around my age, giggling together in the seating area. They brushed through their long blonde hair with their fingers and kept glancing towards the counter. I followed their glances and of course there Henry stood writing in some books. He had a small smile on his face as he looked at the two girls out the corner of his eye and they obviously noticed the attention he was giving them. I automatically turned rushed back down the isle.
My heart sank like it had just been shot out of the sky and my breathing went out of control, all I wanted to do was turn and run out, but I had to get my mother her book, I didn’t want to worry her anymore. As distracted as I was knowing that Henry was standing in the same room as me, I scanned through the romance novels and picked out the note from my pocket.
I searched as high up as I could reach – which unsurprisingly – wasn’t that high. With every bookshelf stacked up high towards the ceiling, I noticed they were stacked along the bottom, reaching the floor. I heard the girls giggling even louder now, which made my legs weak and unsteady. ¬Henry must have gone to talk to them, not that I could blame him, they were obviously beautiful.
I shuddered briefly as if a cold breeze filled the room. I sat on the blue carpeted floor and searched for my mother’s desired book. I let out a rough breath as I picked up each book along the bottom shelf, one at time and searched for the one I needed.
They were all desperately fake; I didn’t even have to open them to tell. The covers alone were enough to bore my mind and let it swirl around in disgust and disapproval. Almost ever cover had the image of a couple in a tight romantic embrace. Each man had a thin open shirt, a breeze always blowing, to expose their muscular physique. The women were all ridiculously, impossibly beautiful; dressed in flowing evening gowns, with their long silky hair fanned behind them.
They were all so mind numbing to me, each one similar, no originality, leaving nothing to the imagination. What was the point of a book that spells everything out for you? Wasn’t that the reason for reading? To get your imagination working? That’s why I took such a strong distaste to them, there just wasn’t a point. Which led me to think; what was the point of me being here?
There had to be an alternative reason for my mother to send me here, by myself. I was always cooped up in my room at home and that never worried her before. She wasn’t even close to finishing the first book she bought here either. There had to be something I was missing.
I paused for a moment and thought deeply, but still I couldn’t figure it out. I was determined to stay on the topic and find the answer but a piece of paper that fell to the floor beside me caught my attention.
Someone must have dropped it. Before I picked the folded sheet from the floor, I hoped it wasn’t that proud scrawny boy who I saw stalking the science fiction books. Just to be safe and avoid – what would most likely – be a very awkward conversation, I held out the piece of paper, offering it to the person standing tall beside me, never lifting my eyes.
“You were supposed to read it.” A comforting voice calmly spoke.
My heart skipped and the air turned thin once more. I knew who it was with the first word that left his faultless lips. I couldn’t bring myself to look up – not without fainting in front of him – which didn’t seem that much of a problem at first thought.
I drew the paper in close and read the two words, scripted in beautiful handwriting. I was instantly bemused.

I’m sorry

“It says ‘I’m sorry’.” I spoke thoughtlessly, an automatic response to his flowing voice.
“It does.” Henry confirmed, his voice sounding lighter.
I was confused. Why was he apologising? He had caused no fault with me; in fact I don’t think he ever could.
“I don’t understand. What did you do?” I asked, finally giving in and meeting his eyes.
They were soft and gentle, just as before, nothing had changed. A deep chocolate brown and mesmerising in everyway. He remained perfect through my eyes. I gasped silently.
He paused before answering. His coloured lips pressed together slightly, as a small crease formed between his neat eyebrows.
“Well I was hoping you could answer that for me.” He said as his face smoothed out and a smile appeared.
He took a seat next to me on the floor and waiting patiently for my response. I looked away instantly, the intensity from his eyes were too much for me handle. I couldn’t think. I never could when he was near.
As I stared ahead I noticed a small gap between each shelf. Through this gap I could just make out the two blonde girls pampering themselves in the little seating area by the window.
“How can I do that?”
“Well I must’ve done something wrong. You haven’t been back here for six days and I thought you liked it here. Your mother seemed to.” He replied steadily. I could feel his eyes on my face, examining my expression.
“It wasn’t your fault Henry. I was just…busy, you know site seeing and everything.” I managed to give a reasonable explanation for my absence. Needless to tell him I was actually avoiding another encounter, scared about how I would react around him.
“Oh I see. Well usually I would have believed you but Ashley told me otherwise. He said you never left your hotel room.” Henry’s voice was full of amusement as he waited for the realisation sink in.
“Ashley?” I repeated with embarrassment.
Great, he knew Ashley. Ashley would have something to do with this. What else could go wrong? I thought unnervingly.
“Yes, my brother Ashley. You might have seen him around the hotel you’re staying at.” Henry commented again, humour still filling his tone. He must have enjoyed watching me struggle.
I looked down to the floor and hurriedly jumbled words together in my head. I had already been caught out, what would it matter now if I sounded like an idiot? Well it was risk I was willing to take.
“Ashley…yes of course I’ve seen him around. But…when I say…busy site seeing, what I actually meant was…umm…you know…just err…” My babbling was immediately stopped in its tracks as I felt a warm firm hand on my shoulder.
My mind froze and my heart jumped, banging loudly against my chest, I could just make out Henry’s voice through the thumping in my ears.
“It’s okay Beth, don’t worry about it, I was just teasing.” He chuckled alluringly.
I smiled widely and flicked my eyes to his. He hadn’t moved his hand from my shoulder and the perfect smile on his face, made his eyes sparkle for the first time. I flashed brightly as I felt the heat pour over my face.
We both stared at each other – for what felt like hours – smiles from ear to ear pasted over both our lips. With Henry’s eyes melting vigorously in front of me, I couldn’t tear my eyes away, not even for a second. I couldn’t think of anything to say, my heart felt like it was in a tight vice grip and it stopped any thought to my brain. I wasn’t sure if Henry had anything to say either but we both looked away and Henry dropped his hand once the giggling girls struck again.
My shoulder felt cold were Henry’s hand fell. My heartbeat soothed slightly. The smile on face dropped. We both sat staring through the small gap in the bookshelf, revealing the two teenage girls. They truly were beautiful; at least they were underneath the layers of make up and hair extensions. But even so they were very glamorous, more so than the average girl. More than me, by far, but – of course – that was to be expected.
“Well whatever happened, I’m happy that you finally decided to visit again.” Henry’s gentle voice broke through the despairing thoughts in my head and I turned to meet his dazzling eyes again.
I blushed furiously and tried to conceal my face by stretching out my arm between us, lightly touching the spines of the books, in front of me.
“I’m looking for another book.” I blurted out, feeling utterly ridiculous once the words escaped my lips.
“Well of course you are.” Henry replied with a tender, weak voice.
I snapped my head up and with a confused look on my face, questioning Henry’s tone. He sounded disheartened, but I couldn’t understand why. Henry didn’t speak; he just looked back at me, pausing.
I waited patiently, my heartbeat slow; the tips of my fingers suddenly ice cold. I couldn’t explain this new feeling, usually I could barely breath when Henry’s eyes were on mine but this time, it was different. As this new feeling pulsed through my body and my mind, my eyes never left Henry’s.
I shuddered briefly, a burning sensation coursing through my body now, my head felt like it was about to explode. It lasted only a second or two and I felt fine. I blinked slowly in a stunned daze. The blast of heat I felt, a strong image stuck in my mind. I wasn’t sure if Henry had noticed the surreal shift I had just experienced but he eventually spoke, his voice composed.
“So any book in particular?”
His eyes dropped from mine as he brushed his finger along the top of the books.
“Umm, yeah a romance novel.” I replied as serene as I could manage, trying to block from my mind, the bizarre feelings that had overcome me. He sighed breathlessly.
“Romance huh?” He said as he picked up one of the romance novels and scrutinised the front cover. I just studied his face and this time I was sure about the dislike he had for these books.
“You don’t like romance novels.” I stated rather than asked. He looked away from the book and placed it back on the shelf nervously laughing. He shook his head softly.
“They’re not really my thing, but if you like them…”
“No, I can’t stand them.” I interrupted lightly. “But unfortunately my mother loves them.”
He gave a small grin and went back to searching the bottom shelf. I would’ve done the same but he was so close to me that he enticed all my attention.
“So what don’t you like these books?” I asked curiously, wanting to know as much as I could about him, secretly hoping we would have some things in common.
“They just never really appealed to me, they seem…false. I mean even looking at the titles and the covers; they’re just not worth the read.” He looked at me for a while without saying anything and I stared back unable to remove my captivating gaze. I don’t know what he saw on my face but it made him unconnect with my eyes and become a little on edge. “I don’t mean any offence to your mother of course.”
“Oh I assure you none taken.” I beamed at him. He smiled back and quickly flicked his eyes to the shelf once again.
Although I had only seen him smile a few times, it had changed somehow. He didn’t smile with the familiar warmth I always felt, it was half-heartedly spread across his face. I couldn’t take my eyes off his sudden sad expression. At least I think it was sad, his eyes seemed dim and glazed over, as he stared at the shelf before him.
He was perfectly still; it was the first time I had seen him so lost in thought. It made me smile at first, he looked peaceful but after a while, without a single movement, it began to unnerve me.
I continued to watch his lost face but he seemed to be unaware of this. I followed his lifeless stare and noticed he wasn’t staring at the books. His gaze went further, straight at the two girls, who were laughing again.
My heart sank and my eyes shimmered with a cover of fresh tears as I thought of all the reasons why I wasn’t good enough for Henry. I hated myself. I hated that I went against everything I believed, broke every rule that stopped me getting hurt. I promised myself that I wouldn’t get too involved, that I wouldn’t let myself become attached; yet here I was, silently tearing up over Henry watching another girl, desperately trying to find as much as I could about him, just to feel closer to him. It had always been plainly obvious that a guy as perfect as Henry wouldn’t be remotely interested in me and it was time for me to stop dreaming and face reality.
“They’re pretty aren’t they?” I asked for some unknown reason as I already knew what he though of them.
My voice seemed to snap him out of his gawping and I watched him as he uneasily looked back at me. He seemed taken aback by my question. A soft blush filled his cheeks and I smiled faintly, my heart tight and beating fast. I didn’t think I could find any other way to adore Henry, but his flustered blush made it hard for me to focus, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
“Umm, yeah I guess they are.” He answered indifferently, averting my gaze as he went back to looking through the books, which I had given up on doing now.
“What do you mean you guess? You couldn’t take your eyes off them just now.” I joked with a light smile.
He intently looked at me and paused. I looked straight back, unable to look away. He seemed to be studying my face. For what he was searching for, I couldn’t figure out and my thumping heartbeat made it impossible to hear my thoughts.
“I mean, they’re not exactly the type of girl I fall for. Remember what I was saying about these books?” He asked as he lifted one of them off the shelf without looking at it. I nodded. “False.”
I wondered deeply about the type of girl Henry would fall for. If not the fake, blonde type then maybe the black haired sporty type, or maybe the brainy red head, well one thing I was certain about it would never be me, as much as it pained me to repeat over in my mind. It was the only way to stop me hoping.
“So why do you keep staring at them?” I enquired suspiciously as I raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly. I kept my eyes on him as his face creased and he looked back to the girls, but after a while his face smoothed and he answered my question with a question of his own.
“Why are people so vein?” He asked sounding sincerely curious, just as if he didn’t understand what was important about appearance even though every time I looked at him he made my heart melt in my chest.
“Ahh, you’re changing the subject.” I retorted with a weak laugh.
I was trying to move the conversation in a new direction so it didn’t turn deep and profound, I didn’t want to attach myself to Henry more than I already was. However I studied his face some more and he seemed lost and helpless, so I decided to answer his question, I mean what harm could it really do if we spoke properly? I couldn’t fall any deeper.
“Well I guess it’s because they have something to be vein about. They’re proud of what they look like and they want others to see them how they see themselves.” I answered, watching his face as his eyes were still fixed on the girls.
He sighed lightly and shook his head. It was like he was trying to understand the whole concept of vein people, even though they were everywhere.
“But do they really have to parade their beauty? Can’t they be just as proud of what they are on the inside?” He seemed deeply troubled and he didn’t make any eye contact with me as he spoke.
“Not everyone is proud of what they are on the inside; I think that’s why they take such pride in their appearance. Insecurity is terrible thing.”
“That’s exactly what I thought at first, but getting to know them over the months, not one of them is insecure.”
“You know them?” I asked with an embarrassing shock in my voice.
He met my eyes, his face no longer lost in thought. His voice calm and light again. Henry was such a beautiful person inside and out, it was astounding that he was here talking to me. I gasped slowly, my heart racing again.
“Of course I know them. I know everyone that comes to this bookstore.” He smiled as my eyes fell to his lips. “The girl on the right is Lucy and next to her is Kirsty. They’re twins, sixteen this year, they come here every lunch time without fail and not one of them buys a book.” He narrated as he saw the interest in my face.
“Wow, that’s a lot to know about your customers.” I commented as I remembered the small boy I passed earlier. “And what about –”
“That is Erwin, he’s fourteen. He comes here every Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. He spends most of his time looking for new science fiction comics and he’s very smart for his age, however he’s so hopelessly in love with Kirsty over there that he forgets that we don’t sell comics.” He grinned at the satisfying smile on my face and the wonder in my eyes. He truly was amazing.
“So is this what you do to get to know your customers, give them your full attention each time they come in?” I asked sceptically, hoping to unravel his secret.
“Actually most of the time I just observe. You can discover some fascinating things about people if you just take a step back and watch.”
“I see, so why am I getting such special treatment?” I wondered out loud.
Henry beamed widely and flashed his teeth for the first time. They glistened brilliantly and kept my full attention on his mouth.
He moved closer to me and I could feel his cool breath on my face. My heartbeat was hammering in my chest and my throat was incredibly dry. I took slow weak breaths through my mouth, whenever I could catch the air.
“I wanted to get to know you properly. I wanted things to be real and I enjoy being with you.” He spoke in a velvet whisper as his eyes melted in time with my heart.
He placed his hand around mine and I froze on the spot. His touch was soft, warm, delicate and the closer he was to me the safer I felt. His words whirled around in my head and I couldn’t help but blush.
I found myself slowly leaning forward and to my pleasant surprise he mimicked my actions and before I knew it I was inches away from touching his lips with mine. My heart was banging hard against my ribcage like it was fighting to escape my chest, my temperature rose increasingly and the hot blush in my cheeks intensified never fading as we drew closer.
I didn’t think it was possible for me to feel such happiness and delight. I was feeling so many emotions I didn’t know which one was overriding my body. I couldn’t think with my head anymore, my heart had pushed its way to the surface and the deep emotion – which was always locked inside – was finally showing.

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