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Heroes RP World 2 - Reflections
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
Mrs P Sylar wrote:I was on my way to work that day, although since I was nearing my second month of pregnancy I was trying to work less. I still hadn't accepted Peter was evil, it just wasn't.. right, it didn't add up to me
Wayward Daughter wrote:(slowing down 2 months in?)
Once I'd finished the report, I didn't know what to do. I hung around a little, trying to find another mission, though I knew I shouldn't take one, I wasn't in the right mindset and I'd already seen where acting like that could lead. I couldn't stay still, though. Couldn't afford to think, or remember.
Wayward Daughter wrote:However, as I saw Pippy entering, I couldn't prevent the memories from flashing into my mind once more, the pain of them making me wince. It still hadn't fully struck me, yet. It was like my mind was refusing to admit he was gone, clinging to an impossible vague hope but in vain.
Wayward Daughter wrote:I knew it was in vain, really. I knew... I'd seen it. I'd seen him disappear. I'd heard his goodbye message, I'd heard of the inability to find him afterwards. I knew what all that meant. He was gone. But I refused to admit it. Gone....the very word was an impossibility.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
I heard Lowri's thoughts, as she noticed me, and then the immediate pain that ensued. I hurried over to her and put my arms around her in a close embrace. I let go a while later, and looked her in the eye as I asked how she was doing, knowing and dreading the responce
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
All I could do was shake my head, choking on any words any time I tried to speak them. The answer was obvious, however. I wasn't coping. Not at all. Nowhere near.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
I heard her answer more in her thoughts and her words and I nodded sympathetically. We all knew what she going through - our family had dealt with (or failed to deal with) more than enough death. But still, it was Peter.. Peter, my big brother. He is.. was a big part in my life, and it just felt wrong thinking of it without.
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
I just couldn't stop him, I whispered miserably. I didn't see... not in time....
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
That's not your fault, I replied, because it wasn't. How could it be? It was.. his choice, I told myself, softly. But that didn't comfort me, that didn't help.
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
I shook my head. Pippy was wrong. It was my fault. If I hadn't been there, hadn't tried to capture him.... I'd practically pushed him into it. All because I'd been too blind to see where it'd lead.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
(
)
You didn't push him, I said, my words tentative, but comforting. You made him realise what he was doing.. and he hated himself for it
)You didn't push him, I said, my words tentative, but comforting. You made him realise what he was doing.. and he hated himself for it
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
That's still another way of saying it was my fault, I whispered guiltily.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
It could never be your fault, I replied, more forcefully this time. If he knew you were blaming yourself..
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
Well, he's not here to know, I retorted, more harshly than I'd intended. The words made me choke up, and brought yet more tears to my eyes. I still couldn't believe it. Peter couldn't be gone.... he just couldn't. It wasn't possible. But there was a numb pain inside me which said otherwise.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
I didn't bother replying, knowing she hadn't met it that way, instead I just hugged her again, trying to find any way to make her feel better, but I knew better than most that nothing could ever truly make that pain go away
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
I knew Pippy was just trying to console me, pointless and useless as that was. It just wasn't possible. A part of me wanted to shrug her away, refusing her attempts at comfort, but I didn't have the heart to do so.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
I smiled at Lowri, offered a few more words of useless comfort before apologising and excusing myself, saying I needed to get home, but if I was being honest.. I just wanted to get away. Even seeing Lowri seemed to remind me of Peter, to bring back all the memories I had been trying much too hard to repress. I hugged Lowri one more time and teleported home
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
I nodded, whispering an empty goodbye. I'd already finished my work for the day, so I flew back home, the flight feeling cold and desolate.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
I kept it together as best I could, preparing the food. We ate in almost silence, which was bizarre enough for a regular family let alone one of this size. Once the meal was over, the triplets began helping Gabriel tidy up as it was their turn. I went into my room, finding I didn't have the energy to do anything else. I curled up on my bed, my tears soaking into the pillow as I tried so hard to forget the pain, but the mind-numbing pain seemed to be the only thing that kept Peter near me.
I thought back to my childhood, and how different it could have been if I had known him, if I had known who my family was. Nathan, I thought, Nathan must be taking it badly.. Everyone had to be. It was Peter who was dead, gone. Forever
I thought back to my childhood, and how different it could have been if I had known him, if I had known who my family was. Nathan, I thought, Nathan must be taking it badly.. Everyone had to be. It was Peter who was dead, gone. Forever
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
(The triplets are like 3 and they're helping clear up?)
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
(They're probably nearing genius level now they're together 
)
)
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
Landing outside the house, only then did I realise how I'd have to compose myself, pretend to be Ok, for the children's sake. I raised a hand to wipe away the tear tracks which seemed to have permanently stained my face, mildly surprised that I'd been able to produce so many. It just felt like there was a gaping hole inside of me, now. It was numb, for the time being, but I knew that wouldn't last.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
I let myself in quietly, once more pointless trying to wipe my eyes. Inside, everything I could see was even more of a reminder. Every little sight and memory felt like they were stabbing me. My breath caught in my throat, an acute physical pain. The empty hole seemed to be aching, throbbing now.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
Gabriel came in half an hour later, muttering how he had instructed all the children to go to bed. I reached out to him, and he kissed me softly, in a way that was a lot more comforting than I had expected.
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
I shook my head, trying in vain to dismiss those thoughts. They wouldn't help. I knew he was gone, really gone, I'd seen him vanish, and dwelling on that fact, or on memories, wouldn't help. I knew I'd have to pull myself together and just carry on, somehow. I didn't know how.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower