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I didn't even know if it'd be possible, when so much of my life now reminded me of him. Not just our children, our home.... all our friends were shared friends. We'd been married when I'd started the Organisation. Everything seemed to be linked to him, or led back to him. It'd be impossible to ever escape the memories. By now, I was only even alive because of him.
5 posters
Heroes RP World 2 - Reflections
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
I choked up on that thought, hiding my head in my hands. There were so many tears in my eyes that I couldn't even see. Not only literally; I couldn't see where I'd go from here, or how. It just shouldn't be possible. None of this should be. But it was all too real.
Last edited by Wayward Daughter on Thu 20 Jul 2017 - 21:58; edited 1 time in total
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
!!
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
(Angst yourself 
)
Why are you crying, Mommy? Nathan asked. I could tell he was worried, by the use of his old name for me. The question made me jump a little.
It's.... it's nothing... I lied, my voice shaking. He narrowed his eyes.
You wouldn't be crying if it was nothing, he pointed out.
)Why are you crying, Mommy? Nathan asked. I could tell he was worried, by the use of his old name for me. The question made me jump a little.
It's.... it's nothing... I lied, my voice shaking. He narrowed his eyes.
You wouldn't be crying if it was nothing, he pointed out.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
It is, it's nothing, I forced myself to repeat, trying to gain more control over my voice. Or at least nothing you should be worrying about.
That part, at least, was true, I thought. He like all of the others were too young to know. I wished they'd be able to remain too young forever.
That part, at least, was true, I thought. He like all of the others were too young to know. I wished they'd be able to remain too young forever.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
It'll all end up ok though, he offered, trying to reassure me, and I ended up choking up. I knew it should be me saying such things to him, not this other way around. I wished that I could say it. But I knew they wouldn't, and I couldn't speak the lie. I couldn't agree with him.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
He hugged me again, then transported off, his expression remaining confused. I was just glad he hadn't asked where Peter was. That would have been one lie I wouldn't have been able to speak, the reminder too much for me. I knew that, instinctively.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
Over the next few days, I tried to pull myself together, tried to act as if things were getting better, like they were supposed to. It was a brittle act, though. I felt like one little wrong word, one more reminder, could shatter me. I was hiding myself in my work again, unhealthy and potentially dangerous as I knew that could be, from experience. I couldn't stop myself from taking on more and more dangerous missions. On those, I needed to focus so much they blocked me from thinking, from remembering. From letting myself mourn. From letting myself truly feel the pain.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
(*wonders if I'm the only one RPing, again*)
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
(*can't really think of any angst*)
I managed to drag myself out of bed the next day, but it wasn't because I had been sleeping - I hadn't been sleeping properly for a while. I tried to tell myself it was just the baby, kicking but it wasn't. It felt more like something was stopping me. I didn't give it much thought as I tried to hurry my children out of bed - I stepped into Zach's room and tried to shake him awake, but I could the alcohol from down the hall. Abbie took all of the children to school and I threw myself down against the couch - going to work wouldn't distract me, seeing people wouldn't help.. it felt like there was nothing I could do. Because there wasn't. I couldn't save my brother, there was nothing
I managed to drag myself out of bed the next day, but it wasn't because I had been sleeping - I hadn't been sleeping properly for a while. I tried to tell myself it was just the baby, kicking but it wasn't. It felt more like something was stopping me. I didn't give it much thought as I tried to hurry my children out of bed - I stepped into Zach's room and tried to shake him awake, but I could the alcohol from down the hall. Abbie took all of the children to school and I threw myself down against the couch - going to work wouldn't distract me, seeing people wouldn't help.. it felt like there was nothing I could do. Because there wasn't. I couldn't save my brother, there was nothing
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
The distraction wasn't fully working, however. Every now and again little reminders would break through, from the expressions of agents when they saw me, to remembering how I'd been trying to bring Peter in when he'd been deleted, to even trying to catch these escapees and remembering how he'd been the one to save me last time, when I'd underestimated the man. Each little memory had me closer to breaking.
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
I could almost literally feel those chipping away at my resolve, my self-control, and I knew that I couldn't hold it together much longer. I'd only managed to reach my office and lock myself in, in time. Then I crumpled, like my knees could no longer support me, sliding to the ground beside the door with the tears pouring relentlessly down my face, and struggling to breathe. The pain hitting me was like tidal waves, over and over, consuming.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
(
)
)
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
I must have sat there, like that, for hours. It wasn't abating at all. It just kept coming, over and over, relentlessly. I slowly realised that I could hear a timid knocking on the door.
Mrs. Petrelli? a voice asked through the door. Some of us saw you coming in there.... we wanted to check if you were ok...
Go away!! I croaked, finding that even 2 words made my voice break.
Mrs. Petrelli? a voice asked through the door. Some of us saw you coming in there.... we wanted to check if you were ok...
Go away!! I croaked, finding that even 2 words made my voice break.
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
He did so, rapidly, scappering away and leaving me completely alone once more. I sank even further to the ground. Every time I'd as much as blink, I could see myself back there again, watching Peter vanish. Watching as I lost him.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
I wished I could just vanish, teleport away, disappear into nothingness, but I couldn't. I couldn't escape. I could only remain here, lost, and haunted by my memories.
Mrs P Sylar- Man of Iron
- Posts : 94468
Join date : 2009-08-03
Age : 27
Location : Stark Tower
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
The day drifted by miserably, and then I was returning home. As always, the memories and grief struck me anew the minute I walked in. It was just insane. And impossible. I could barely believe that it'd only been days ago, not even a week yet. It felt like another person's life.
Wayward Daughter- Queen Of Angst
- Posts : 146928
Join date : 2009-07-23
Age : 34
Location : In the Livery Inn, at the heart of the Westside Alliance
As I returned to work the next day, I found that one mission took me to Washington. I'd finished with it quickly - it was simple enough - so I decided to spend my time going to visit Nathan. I hadn't seen him since.... since that day. Arriving at his offices, I was slightly shocked to see that his staff were still full in preparation for his election campaign. But I guess the world doesn't stop spinning for everyone.